Maybe you are also one of those people who can only say “no” with difficulty, under pressure and with fear beads on your forehead. We have all been in a situation where we grudgingly made a decision based on what other people wanted to hear from us instead of what we really wanted to do. Where does this avoidance behavior come from and what can we do to break our pattern?
Most of the time, we have experienced at some point in the past that many people attach conditions to their love. We are afraid that people will reject us and withdraw their affection if we refuse them a favor. We don’t want to disappoint or offend friends and family. We want to live up to the expectations of our bosses and co-workers and avoid confrontation. And we have been taught since we were children that it is not right to be selfish.
The fact is, drawing healthy boundaries is part of a healthy relationship and friendship, and setting priorities is part of a healthy work-life balance. If you are constantly bending over backwards to please other people, you forget to listen to the most important thing in your life: yourself and your health. If you constantly push yourself beyond your limits, you are constantly under stress and run the risk of burning out.
You have nothing to lose and everything to gain if you learn to communicate your wants and needs openly. People who continue to defy your boundaries were more interested in what you could give them than in yourself. If you are not sure if you really want to give your fixed allowance, you can also ask for time to think. Make it clear to yourself that it is not selfish to insist that your wants and needs be respected. You have every right to say “no” and to prioritize yourself and your life. You no longer have to carry this burden and other people’s expectations.
It is a long way to internalize all these things, but every no makes you braver and stronger, brings you more freedom, and gives you more inner peace and self-confidence. You will find it easier to stand up for yourself and your needs every time. A small change like this can have a positive impact on every area of your life. No is a complete sentence. And you don’t have to feel guilty about saying it.